My First Post

I'm not really sure how to start this.  I'm not really sure what I want it to be.  Updates on family events?  My inner musings?  One sounds a little boring.  The other sounds a little scary.  This whole idea completely intimidates me.  In fact, I just got a little teary just thinking about it.  That would only make sense to a few people that know me really well.  What would cause someone to be overcome with emotion by the thought of writing a blog, you ask?  I'm fairly certain it stems from the fact that I've been suppressing, running from, denying, and generally avoiding my callings in life for eleven plus years now.  I've gotten really good at it.  It's going to be hard to let it go.  I'm called to be a writer.  Okay, now my arms just went numb.  I've never said that to anyone before.  I've said it to myself, but I pretended that I didn't hear.  

I think I had convinced myself that I was keeping my ego in check by not writing.  Isn't it prideful to admit to yourself, much less anyone else, that you have been given a particular ability?  At thirty-three years of age, I now know it was my abundance of pride, not my lack of it, that's kept me from writing.  I wouldn't write because I wasn't certain that I could do it really well.  Okay, so pride, and we'll throw in fear of failure for good measure.  Well, I'm laying them both down.  I must say, they haven't served me well over the years. 

So now I'm writing a blog (I know--it's no big deal--every one has a blog--but please refer back to the aforementioned years of avoiding anything remotely resembling this).  Let me assure you that it's not because I'm now certain that I'm a gifted writer and will shortly have publishers knocking at my door because they've read my single, brilliant blog post that I will only be sharing with my sister, mother, and best friends.  No, I'm sitting on my couch, putting words together, preparing to launch this bit of prose into cyberspace for one reason.  Obedience.  I've committed to follow my calling and to be obedient to the One who called me even if it means doing it badly and even if it is of no consequence.  More with the tears.  I should mention that as a general rule, I don't cry.  Pride and fear are powerful things, and they won't leave without a fight.  Here's to striking the first blow.